Duck Duck Cougar?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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