Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
