well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
