he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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