note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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