playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Blood and glitter go together right?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
