I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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