Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
