yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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