"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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