I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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