standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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