im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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