by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The air taste purple.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
