I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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