you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Let's paint friendship bongs
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
