If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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