i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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