I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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