what day is it and did you see me today?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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