Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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