Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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