no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
