Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
