i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize