You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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