if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
