Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
