I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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