why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
