is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
