Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Found the puke drawer
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
