also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
