I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
