xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
