everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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