I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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