New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
be right there i have to get my cape
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
