sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize