the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
