Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
