I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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