Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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