i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
