In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
