were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
