I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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