i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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