you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
