i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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