So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
