I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
