it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize