just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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