My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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