Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
