I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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