Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
