I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
