I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
