I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
