I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
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You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
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