Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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