just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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